So, Nick over at The Cinematic Donkeysex Katzenjammer had this bright idea for a blogothon. Like Secret Santa, everyone would throw in a movie and once a big pool of films had been collected, we would all be assigned one at random just like, you know, Secret Santa. It’s a really cool little thing, and has already gotten a lot of traction. Check it out here.

Now, I was assigned a film that I really should have seen many years ago. For some reason, I never did. It goes without saying that it is a wonderful film, so writing a review just seemed kinda pointless to me. So I decided for something a bit more fun and improvisational. So, without further ado, here are the 14 Things That I Thought Whilst Watching What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.

Whats_Eating_Gilbert_Grape

14. I’m picking up the tear soaked towels I preemptively put on the ground. Should I watch movies like this with girls I like? Will that make me come off as sensitive?

13: Life Lessons Courtesy of Foodland: Consumerism Will Ruin All Our Lives

12. Burger Barn! There’s real milk in there.

11. John C. Riley! Don’t ever change.

10. I feel like I should think this movie is a lot funnier than I do.

9. I really wish Johnny Depp didn’t get famous. He used to be sooooooo good.

8. I’m really happy Leonardo DiCaprio did get famous. He just got better.

7. What the hell happened to Juliette Lewis?

6. It must be hard to do mentally challenged really well on film, cuz this is probably the best I’ve seen.

5. Yeah, haha, people of Endora, Iowa. Fat people are funny. You know what else is funny? Murder. That shit is hilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarious!

4. Speaking of which, good on the movie for not treating Bonnie as either comic or villain. She’s super sympathetic, and I loved that.

3. That moment where Becky’s car starts and she and Gilbert think they are gonna say goodbye but then it breaks down again and they are so happy? That was lovely!

2. You know what is great? Brothers! We got each other’s backs on all things.

1. You know what else is great? This movie!

Is your mind blown?